Rants and Raves

On Crime and Justice: Looks like the Seattle Po-lice overextended their Po-lice powers. A video shows a Mexican laying on the ground getting the shit kicked out him. A police officer close to the case is overheard saying “..beat the fucking Mexican out of you, Homey”. Nice. Turns out this is part of the training program for the Arizona State Police.

 

On Jurisprudence: Seems Iran sent five women to the gallows, executed for being “'enemies of God”. That sucks………

On the Prez: The Prez awarded a no-bid, $568 million contract Haliburton thru 2011 for supplies and services for wars of foreign aggression, aka Iraq. I thought everything was W’s fault?

On Mz. Prez: During a speech, The 1st lady told graduates Saturday “to prepare to overcome adversity”, …..told students to “summon their courage to fight segregation”,  she added…..”and make every effort to kill whitey and eat their children”………I made the last part up, but I bet she was thinking it……

On Freedom of  Expression: Apparently, a 52-year-old Colorado woman who likes to garden wearing only a yellow thong and pink gloves has won her fight with her landlords, who wanted her to cover up. Boulder Housing Partners has decided not to outlaw tenants from going topless outside….on the bright side, it could have been a 52-year-old man……

On Only in the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts: An inmate at a prison in PRM received taxpayer funded hormone treatments and electrolysis because of his/her dissatisfaction with being born a male. He/she was recently granted a taxpayer funded mammogram and a $250.00 gift card to Victoria’s Secret……

On Human Rights: Two young female performers were handcuffed and taken away after a concert in China’s Chengdu City. It seems they were arrested for lip synching. They were not immediately executed, which shows enormous growth for civil liberties in the PRC….makes me a little weepy…..

On Politics and Common Sense:  John White, now running for sheriff in Roundup, Mont., will be unable to carry a gun if he wins because of a long-ago bank robbery conviction. What's the fuss? Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry never carried a gun…..


 


On Politics and Common Sense 2:  Convicted felons might be running against each other if they win their primaries in May for county judge-executive in Hindman, Ky. Democrat Donnie Newsome and Republican Randy Thompson were both convicted of election fraud. At least these guys are honest about their dishonesty….
 

On Crime and Justice 2: On Jan. 29, more than 200 Alabama state troopers were amassed at 4 a.m. for the purpose of raiding several illegal bingo parlors. The raids were eventually called off, but a University of Alabama professor estimated the staging cost to the budget-shriveled state at $130,000. Said a spokesman for Gov. Bob Riley, "No matter what it costs, the law must be enforced."  Crack houses, Meth labs, and gangland murders were considered to be minor issues when compared to this group of overweight and nicotine addicted terrorists that live only to hear “B3!!”……….

   
On the End of the World: Archeologist Jim Turner has discovered enormous Mayan monuments that were apparently hand carved out of the mountains of rock on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The only problem is the 500 miles of ocean between the island and the west coast of South America. Those Mayans must have been the maritime beasts of the day…..however; the countdown for December 12^th, 2012 has begun…….

On the War on Terror: The war on terror has another casualty -- this guy's ego. A humiliated TSA screener, whose small penis was revealed to all his colleagues at the Miami airport when he did a test run through a new full-body X-ray machine, allegedly beat one of his co-workers with a nightstick after taking endless abuse. Rolando Negrin, 44, said he "couldn't take the jokes anymore."  Lighten up, dude……….

On WTF?: A fanged leech was pulled from a girl’s nose after she finished swimming in the Amazon River. The new species of blood sucker feeds from the body orifices of livestock and, apparently, the nasal cavities of young, South American girls. A new chapter of MAFBSL, or 

Mothers Against Fanged Blood Sucking Leeches was formed immediately thereafter to combat this new menace……

And finally: George Washington grew marijuana in his garden, Hummingbirds can't walk, iguanas, koalas and Komodo dragons all have two penises, Leonardo De Vinci invented the scissors,  snails can sleep for 3 years without eating, and the longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.

“They certainly give very strange names to diseases. “
Plato